Saturday, April 12, 2008

thoughts for today...

Ya know, I've been thinking about an issue for quite some time... Actually I started thinking about it several months ago, and you know how you'll think and think about something and then forget about it only to have it to return to you several months down the road... well that's the issue with this.

As I said, several months ago the issue of Homosexual Adoption popped into my head and I began to find myself worried about it. My partner Josh and I have only been together for a year and aren't thinking about either adoption or surrogacy until after we both have completed school, but I found myself to be utterly horrified by the thought. Several concerns where,

Will my child be made fun of?
Will my child be accepted by my family?
Will my child love me and my partner? Or will they feel that they'd been cheated?

Several other questions came to light, just one right after the other, but then it went away... NOW IT'S BACK!

There's not much information on the Internet as far as I can see. I don't know any other gay couples who have children so that I could discuss with them their experiences... So Hey... why not blog about it... there's got to be someone with insight on the subject....


ClosetedBaptistLesbian said...

I've thought about the same thing, too, with a slightly different set of questions.

What if I'm not with someone, and decide it's time for baby. Do I ask someone for a "donation" or go to a bank, and either way, how do I handle the "Daddy" question?
What if I have a boy? I have no idea how to raise a boy!
Do I adopt? CAN I adopt (as a single person, or as part of a lesbian couple)?
What if I'm not out, and me and my (so far non-existent) partner want to adopt?
If I'm with someone, whose DNA and uterus do we use? Do we make some kind of judgement call on who has the best genes, or who wants or doesn't want to be pregnant the most?

Lots of questions. No answers.
If you find any, let me know!

jadedjabber said...

I have a few friends who were raised by gay parents. One in rural Minnesota, another in Chicago, and another east coast. They are very well adjusted people who love both of their parents deeply. One of the things that I love about them is that gay just is. I asked the woman from Minnesota about having gay parents. She said most of the people who knew her and her family were really supportive and they were just another family. Though occasionally someone random would make an ignorant comment, she said she just saw it in the same way as any other type of teasing. she told me that some kids get made fun of for being over weight, or too skinny, having the wrong skin color, the wrong clothes, etc. This was just another in a list. she was no different than the other kids.

I thought that was an amazing way to look at it.

jadedjabber said...

I've had the same questions and fears.

I have a few friends who were raised by gay parents. One of my friends who was raised in MN with lesbian parents said that for the most part her family was accepted and loved by the community. Some people may not have agreed with their "lifestyle" but since they had known her their whole life they got to see their family as a normal family.

As far as teasing, she said it did happen occasionally but she didn't see it as any different than being made fun of for not having the right clothes, or body type, car, not being smart enough, or too smart, etc.

One paranoid thought I have had is what happens with the child, if one of us gives birth and the other has no biological connection? Does that change the meaning for the child?